Rather Have a Tooth Canal than the Money Conversation?

Who gets stressed out by the money conversation?!  If that’s you – you’re not alone!

This is often the feedback I get from at least one spouse – if not both!  Due to past events and circumstances (often including arguments and hurt feelings), couples would truly rather avoid the subject altogether than even go near the “money talk”.  But unfortunately, that’s the very thing that keeps them stuck.

• Stuck in a cycle of living paycheck to paycheck.

• Stuck in the black hole of money disappearance (i.e., not knowing where the money went!).

• Stuck in division within their relationship.

• Stuck in the same rut of never getting ahead.
  

This is one reason why money coaching is so powerful.  It gives couples Courage.  Bringing me into the conversation, taking the emotion out of it, and facing the circumstances together with knowledge and understanding does wonders to turn the ship around. 

And one of the first things we initiate is the weekly meeting.  At first, it takes a little while to get into the groove, reduce fears and tension, and get things organized.  But within just a few months, couples are realizing a new way of life with their money.  One that includes open dialogue without judgement.

Here are some key points to consider as you begin your own weekly meetings:

1.      Roles:  Each partner will naturally embrace a different role within the system, but both are crucial and both parties must be determined to stay engaged.  One partner may be the “budget nerd” and enjoy taking on the role of mastering the spreadsheet or app, but the other one—the “free spirit”—is just as important, bringing a valuable perspective to how money should be allocated to align with shared priorities and lifestyle goals.  While the budget nerd thrives on details and enjoys the structure of a plan, the free spirit keeps the budgeting process from becoming rigid and stressful.  Both are important!

2.      Be the One to Initiate:  The quote shared in the picture is from one of my clients that I met with recently, and it illustrates how small actions—such as setting a dedicated time for budgeting and minimizing distractions—can make financial conversations more productive and less stressful for both parties. Be the one to initiate the discussion and help take care of the details to actually pull it off, and you’ll demonstrate love to your partner by making your joint progress a priority.

3.      Value Your Partner’s Strengths:  Notice the strengths of your partner and build them up in these areas.  Each of you brings important things into the relationship, and when you make it a point to encourage your spouse and thank them for the ways they balance you out, you are strengthening the bonds of your relationship – which goes a long way to strengthening your money for the long haul!

By working as a team—embracing different strengths, holding regular budget meetings, and valuing each others' input—couples can not only improve their financial health but also strengthen their relationship. Money is not just about math; it’s about trust, communication, and shared goals. When couples align their approach to money, they set the foundation for a thriving financial future together.