Power Couple

Let’s face it – we all like our independence. We want the satisfaction of knowing we’re in control and can take care of ourselves no matter what comes. But that’s actually not how God designed it. We weren’t meant to go solo in life. We were created with the need for community with others, dependence on God, and oneness with our spouse.

And I can’t help but chuckle when “science” starts to back up what God has told us all along. I was thrilled to see a recent study that found that “couples who pool all of their money (compared to couples who keep all or some of their money separate) experience greater relationship satisfaction and are less likely to break up.”

You guys, what are you trying to prove by keeping your money separate? That you want to be in control? That you don’t need anyone telling you what to do with your money? That you can be self-sufficient all on your own?

These are unity-busters!

God wants us to build a Oneness-Marriage. Family Life Ministries explains it this way: “A oneness marriage demands a lifetime process of relying on God and forging an enduring relationship according to His design. It’s more than a mere mingling of two humans—it’s a tender merger of body, soul, and spirit.

Oneness in marriage has been compared to a pair of scissors: two components joined, never to be separated. Scissor blades frequently go in different directions, but they are most powerful when coming together.”

Couples are their most “powerful” in money when they are working together! We all bring different strengths, weaknesses, and values to the table, and when you’re working in tandem with your spouse, you can balance each other out. Where one is weak, the other is strong, and when you are effectively communicating, dreaming, and goal-setting for the future, you will make much more progress as a team rather than on your own.

Another point is this: Be determined to take actions in your marriage finances that move you in the direction of oneness. Resist the temptation to keep your independence, and in contrast, nurture progress in the area of merging together and staying together – for life. Share everything and have equal access to everything. Now, often one member may have more strength in money management, but that doesn’t mean the other spouse is not valuable. Each person has important insight and ideas to contribute, and they should speak into each financial situation before a decision is made. That’s why I encourage regular budget meetings and dream meetings as a couple. Identify your priorities. Write down your dreams. List out the goals you’re heading toward as a team. Build each other up as you reach those goals together. More power to ya.

(This is not meant to apply to couples dealing with abusive situations. Please seek help from a mental health professional when money power is used in an abusive way.)

#vesselfinancialcoaching