Retail Therapy: Help or Hurt?

What’s at the heart of Retail Therapy and why does it make so many of us feel better?

This is a topic that can cause a lot of bewilderment in a marriage, and lead to misunderstanding, bitterness, and yes…debt!

According to a Dynata Survey, 70% of female spenders, and even 45% of female savers, answered yes to this question regarding Retail Therapy: “When I have a hard week, sometimes it makes me feel better about myself to go shopping for something new - even if it’s at a consignment store or I don’t buy much.”

Ladies - most of us want to go shopping when we’re feeling blue!

Here are 6 danger signs to watch out for regarding emotional spending:

1. Desire for immediate gratification

2. Boosting your self-esteem - “I deserve it” or self-care when you’re not feeling cared for

3. Spending to cope with financial stress (This one doesn’t make sense…but we do it!)

4. Decompressing from stressful situations (anxiety, restlessness, loneliness)

5. Keeping up with the Joneses (status competition…anyone ever need to buy to make their kids cuter, houses more adorable, and your personal style impressive?)

6. Habitual buying and then returning

“Material things cannot fix emotional things.” It’s a temporary solution. It will help in the moment, but when the emotional high wears off, the root cause is still there, and now we’ve added guilt from emotional spending on top of it!

So, how can you address the need for emotional release, without succumbing to emotional spending?

Alternative actions to try:

• Count-to-ten and redirect your thoughts. I know it sounds trite, but the simple act of pausing, waiting, and thinking can give you just enough time to get past the impulse.

• Turn off your device (when online shopping) and put it in a different room

• Call or text an accountability partner

• Leave your credit cards at home and only take enough cash to buy what you planned for

• Exercise to release endorphins and improve your mood

• Take a walk outside and take in nature and fresh air

• Take action to mend the relationship that’s causing you stress

• Commit to waiting one day before making large purchases (and always talk it over with your spouse first)

• Remind yourself that it’s God’s money. Am I honoring God in the way I’m spending His money?

• Dwell on Scripture. Here are some verses to get you started:

Isaiah 55:2 - “ Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?” Are we spending frivolously on things that do not truly fulfill?

Proverbs 23:5 - “When you set your eyes on it, it is gone. For wealth certainly makes itself wings Like an eagle that flies toward the heavens.” Wealth never satisfies and is gone at any moment.

Proverbs 29:11 - “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” Do we allow ourselves to indulge in our emotions?

As you practice some of these strategies, remember to also pray! God’s power is beyond any human ability we have to overcome these impulses, and He is faithful to help us when we call on Him.

References:

Thriving in Love & Money by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

The One-Minute Money Mentor for Women by Deborah Smith Pegues